A sampling of some of the lovely ladies of yesteryear who have shaken their money-makers on noisemakers for New Year’s Eve: ¡Muy Caliente, classic round version, and the last lot of three contains some sort of creepy BDSM clown…
I never can wait to share things, and this time of year is difficult enough for me — so you get this gem weeks early. Reading simply, “With Good Wishes,” this antique postcard features the roly-poly heads of women inside the 1908 — the numbers look a lot like floating coffins. Floating coffins of women’s heads, featuring lots and lots of hats. Thankfully, this was a few years before the Titanic; but it doesn’t really minimize the creepiness, does it.
Copyright 1907, The Rotograph Co., N.Y.; card number appears to be I 5 339.
Found at Exit 55 Antiques; may still be available there, and they will ship, so call them if interested.
UPDATE: Harold Ackerman, the man who runs Rotograph.org, was kind enough to identify this postcard as XS 339; my interview with him is here.
Try It, You’ll Like It, as seen on this vintage “hippie” embroidered patch. Happy New Year, remember to be kind, recycle, read, collect, and care for one another. Look forwards, but remember, too, to look backwards to learn from history — but don’t try to live it. Today is for living. Try it, you’ll like it!
So you’ve got this to-do list of things you’d like to change about yourself — but hold on there, miss! Before you start the scheming to match your dreaming, the first thing you need to do is know yourself. It sounds so simple that it seems ambiguous to some, but really this is where you start.
First, are these things realistic? Can you change these things?
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Second, if you can change these things (and can set realistic goals for doing so), do you really want to change all those things on your list? If there’s just one thing written there, is that something you really want to change? Or are you making these changes for someone else…
Maybe you wrote it down, but your hand was directed by that head of yours which is filled with all those insidious messages you’ve received from critical family members, lovers (or those you wanted to be) who rejected you, so-called women’s magazines & other media which makes money off your insecurities — all these voices saying that you’re just not good enough.
Even if you’re convinced that your New Year’s Resolutions are in fact your own, take a good hard look at them any way. Do it because you’re patronizing me; I don’t care, as long as you take five minutes (eternally long if you set a timer) and reconsider the things-you-want-to-change-this-year.
Now I’m going to ask you to do one more thing. I’m going to ask you to put one thing at the top of the list. And that thing is to demand that people accept & respect you.
See, you’ve got these things (or maybe just one thing) that you want to change about yourself — and it may very well be that you should change to improve your life — but far too often I see women who are willing to change themselves but unwilling to demand that people accept them for who and what they are. This acquiescence bothers me. Bad things happen when you acquiesce so much in relationships.
So, get out another piece of paper, title it “Demand That People Accept Me”, and make a list of things that should not be changed about yourself.
They can be little or big things; vital ‘this is me’ things or ‘pet peeve’ things that really get under your skin. In fact, that should be one of the things you write down: No one has the right to tell me how important things are to me, or how I feel.
Sometimes it helps if you write it as a list intended to be read by a specific (though however imaginary) person. Like a written agreement. In the spirit of getting you started, here are some of my things:
* When you met me I smoked, I wore this dress size, I had a cat, this family, these friends, I swore, drank, and I required an hour a day to be left alone; none of these things should be expected to change — or are to be discussed as changes I ought to make.
* My work, no matter the pay, is as important as yours; and how I spend my days (weekly pottery class, shooting pool, my favorite TV shows) are as important as your softball league, TV habits and whatnot. It’s not an automatic ‘given’ that my plans should change to accommodate yours.
* While you may name your privates, you can neither make me address it by ‘name’ nor name mine.
* If I say something hurts, it hurts. So stop tickling me or whatever it is and just say you’re sorry.
* I’m a normal, healthy, menstruating woman; you are not allowed to make ‘ick’ faces, wince, cringe, or otherwise react stupidly to this biological fact. Similarly, you are not allowed to act embarrassed when tampons appear in the shopping cart, on the conveyor belt at WalMart, or in your bathroom (unused in the medicine cabinet, or neatly wrapped in toilet paper in the trash).
* On a related note, I get very randy before my period — sometimes during. Obviously it’s up to you to decide if you want to have sex at this (or any other) time; but do not make that fact which looks like you’ve just vomited in your mouth at my suggestion.
* The toilet seat is to be turned down after use. Period.
* No means no, means no, means no. No, I don’t want to see that movie; no, I don’t want order the clams; no, I don’t want to go on another date; no, I don’t want you to come in for a drink; no, I don’t want you to touch me. Yes, you may have come in last time; yes, you may have gotten laid before; but this time the answer is “No.”
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I do not want to change,
courage to demand that others to do the same,
and wisdom to rid myself of those who do not.
Ah, the New Year is about to dawn… The time of year when so many people look at themselves and, upon not liking what they see, come up with ridiculous and unreasonable plans they call New Year’s Resolutions.
Loathing the past and fearfully hoping bartering for their futures, New Year’s Resolutions remind me of the Kübler-Ross “Bargaining” stage of grief: “Listen, New Year, if I promise to lose 40 pounds and stop smoking, you agree to give me a promotion (with a salary large enough to afford designer handbags and that clingy little black cocktail dress I’ve been dreaming of) and the man of my dreams.”
Only, the New Year, like the god the grief-stricken barter with, doesn’t reply with an affirmation — at least not the magic wand variety. And that’s what most are really asking for. *Poof* You’re 40 lbs slimmer, 50K richer, and smoke-free in your designer couture with Mr. Right on your arm.
Oh sure, you could get all those things — even simultaneously. But you’ll have to work for each and every one of them. And then work some more to keep them.
No one is going to hand them to you, let alone at the magical hour when the Gregorian calendar adds a digit.
However, if you, like millions of others, want to have your make-over vows coincide with this paper-flipping fresh start, tune in tomorrow because I’ll be outlining my general tips for really making changes.